They told me.I didn't Listen & now I drown in my own mistakes.

Sometimes i wish i could post more personal things on a blog,but then again it's so public that isn't possible.

On a totally random note,i realize my life can be turn into those movies minus the happy ever after ending.haha









Cheerio

Once Upon a time

I once knew a girl
She told me the times would stay the same
She said we'd never change
We got older
I should've known
She left & I stayed
Soon there was only I
I felt colder when I walk Alone
The silence wasn't that bad
until I look at my hand and feel sad
cause the spaces between my fingers
were where hers fit perfectly
I go to that tree we'd watch the sky turn light-blue
to see the vanilla twilight
But it isn't the same without her
I'd make her a postcard
To show her that time hadn't change
cause I wish she were here with me
But that was me and her
it's just me
cause she lied
when she said we wouldn't change
we grew older
and i should've known
we'd change
Once upon indeed

Stupid xanga wouldn't let me sign in.And urhm,yeah.








cheerio.
p.s. this is 50% original

The past is better left where...

...it was than trying to relive it every day.

Shades of Blue

My biological clock is messed up,period.
I start the day at roughly 12pm,have my first meal aka breakfast at 1pm.lunch at 7pm and dinner at around 2am.Sleep is normally around 4 or 5 am .
This routine has been going on for nearly 2 weeks now and since exams are over,i am struggling to get back to a normal persons sleeping pattern.Neither did i know that i am seriously sleep deprived.






Cheerio.

It is better to have loved once than to never love at all,and I can live with that.

The longest title i've had since ,let me think,forever.
Random thoughts are scaring me.
"Thinking of that girl who wouldn't care less about me"
See,i told ya.
Quick Updates
1.2 more papers
2.Friday is my last paper and it's Spec math
3.Got my camera back.
4.I'll tell you when I have an idea.


Time to hit to books.





Cheerio.

To the Couple

Dear Jeremy/Deborah & Deborah/Jeremy (just in case you guys argue at whose name should come first.)

First and foremost,I would like to congratulate the both of you two on your 4th anniversary,and by 4 i mean by years and not months. 4 years = 48 months = 192 weeks =1344 days. By means,not an easy accomplishment.And also not forgetting Happy Birthday Jeremy,my gay twin brother.(HE DOESNT HAVE GAY ISSUES OKAY!)

We been friends for more than 5 years now,and I've seen the both of you through the ups and downs of life,period.The both of you,are better halfs of each other,complimenting one another.What you guys have is by far,the most amazing thing I have witness.I has but been a pleasure and honor to watch to both of you grow together spiritually as one.

I am already lost for words.So before I end,I wish the both of you many blessed years full of love ,joy and continue growing together as one.May the stars and heavens watch over you both.




Cheerio.




p.s. Jeremy,this is your birthday & anniversary post. =P
p.s.s I couldn't post any pictures,cause i need to get approval before posting.=P

If time weren't so precious.

Somethings in Life I realise too late.

Cheerio.

& they told me to never look back

Rule 1 : Stay Away and nobody gets hurt.

"i hate you",the letters appear one by one across the black screen like clockwork.I don't know what to make of this,it's 3 in the morning and i'm still rushing a business proposal thats due later for work.
"We shouldn't talk to each other anymore"
"And I mean it".All the words fit together perfectly like puzzle pieces put together for the first time.I was hoping there was no more to come,it was hurting as much as it could ever be.
"We can still text each other",more words had appeared on the screen in front of me.
What could I say?I couldn't argue with you,I wouldn't,it was already lost without a fight.
"okay." i typed out reluctantly.
"bye",the last words i would ever see.
*User is currently offline*
I wish it didn't have to come to this,but it did.I could have very well lied,but i chose not to.
"So much for thinking ahead "i thought to myself.
The very rule I had tried very hard to uphold was a lost cause.The very rule meant to protect everyone else was broken.I sat there,wondering this rule that had never really seemed to work.Perhaps I should have just stuck to the fort I had well fortified instead of lowering the bridge just a little bit.
I would have told you so much more,but my conscious told me better.You already had someone else.

Cheerio.

The Sad Duechebag.

Love

Love knows no hate

Love knows no pain

Love knows no jealously

Love is Pure

Love Is Just

Love makes the world go round

Love eats us away,slowly buy surely

Lingering,hungry it feeds.

Love creates

Love destroys.

Yet,Love is great.

Love,

Love makes the whole world go.

Cheerio.

p.s. Wrote it in 5 minutes.Idea came along while on KTM.therefore,i tagged it as pure-randomness.

It was you.

You should read THIS first.













...I stood there,frozen like a statue,time had seemed to cease and the room in deep silence,reality had become surreal.Everything felt as if it fell right into place just as fate found destiny.I shifted my weight from foot to foot as I stood there nervous,heart pounding as fast as ever.I stood there watching you twirl your hair with your fingers anxious at whether I would make the first move.And I did,I manned up and slowly paced my steps towards her.The teak flooring creaked under my pressure.As I slowly crept forward,she giggled.
She was wearing a black sweat top over her outfit which didn’t help hide her physique,her hair flowing over her shoulders and onto her chest.She wasn’t wearing any jewelry nor any make-up but eye-liner,even so she looked as stunning as ever.
With every step closer, infinite number of scenarios ran through my mind ranging from great to disastrous. Of course the worst case scenario would be me embarrassing myself in front of her and the attraction that I thought was mutual was instead just me,afterall it takes two to tango they say.The best of course was,well,I’ll leave it to that.At the same time,I ran many scenarios in my head as how to approach the situation and my options ultimately boiled down to what I thought was best .
The best and most possible approach would be the classic “hi” or “hi there” with the casual hand shake or the more risky approach of “hello stranger” in a seducing manner with more physical contact.I couldn’t help but also think about the more random and inappropriate approaches of which was “hi,I think you’re very sexy..yum” and “grr,you so fine I’ll put honey all over you and eat you up.nom nom nom nom”
The random thoughts triggered a chuckle, however no audible than a needle hit the floor and unconsciously a small grin followed.I had gone ahead with the riskier approached and had figured out just what I wanted to do. I stood less than a feet before you and I could smell the fragrance of your hair.You looked at me wearily with those hazel eyes,at this distance I could make out the hints of bluish and yellowish streaks in your eyes and realized how breathtaking they were.
As I was about to open my mouth, I was interrupted by her.
“So…what were you grinning about?” she asked in a very cheeky voice.







To be continued...









Cheerio

Maybe,Perhaps.

The Russian Ballerina.

It was a lovely summer’s afternoon in college,it wasn’t too hot neither was it cold with a constant blowing breeze.I was walking back from class with my friends when I saw a group of girls dressed in tutus and tights.I got to know from a friend of mine that our college,which so happen was also a world renown performing arts school was having an audition for a performance produced by some fancy producer.Ballerinas and ballerinos from over the world had gathered in the past few days to get the opportunity to be in this spectacular performance. In this group of 5 young ladies ,they were all very attractive but only one manage to catch my eye.She had a head of wavy brown hair with beautiful brown eyes.As the light caught her hair the wind blew and it was just like in those movie scene where the beautiful girl is introduced.The breeze had messed her hair and she flung her hair back and as doing this her eyes met mine and how gaze locked.By now,I had been unconsciously staring at her long enough for it to become impolite.For a moment,it felt like love at first sight.

She continued walking and turned into a corridor and I knew I had to meet her. I followed after her into the corridor and entered the auditorium,the most logical place to go to seeing that auditions were being carried out.I quietly entered the auditorium and quickly scanned for her presence.

I could hear her voice,ever so sweet ,soft and joyous.She was in the foyer above overlooking the auditorium I could tell with her other friends.I quickly headed to the staircase leading to the upper ,level.As I rushed above,my heart began to pound and rage out of control.I came to a door and without thinking I pushed hard and the door slammed open. and the group of girls were sitting there near the corner on the other end of the room on the solid teak floor putting on their pointes. I stood there dumbfounded not knowing what to do or say,the girls shocked from the bang from the door slam open looked at me like one-of-a-kind and giggled.They got up and hurried pass me while exchanging hellos.

And there she stood,as beautiful as ever,in her “uniform” and barefooted.I looked at her from her feet up until my eyes met hers and a smile appeared on both our faces.It was those kind of smiles you knew were different from the rest,not the smile when you’re delighted nor the smile when you get a distinction in a exam,neither is it the smile you have when you’re happy.It was the smile,you genuinely knew was from the heart,of true meaning and emotions.

To be continued...





cheerio.

Black & White.

cheerio.

You make me smile.

You're better then the best
I'm lucky just to linger in your light
Completely unaware
Nothing can compare to where you send me,
Lets me know that it's ok
And the moments where my good times start to fade

You make me smile like the sun
Fall out of bed, sing like bird
Dizzy in my head, spin like a record
Crazy on a Sunday night
You make me dance like a fool
Forget how to breathe
Shine like gold, buzz like a bee
Just the thought of you can drive me wild
Oh you make me smile
But you can never be mine

cheerio.

2 years,3 months,4 weeks,8 days,10 hours,12minutes,14seconds ago

That familiar song plays startling me as it catches me off guard.I feel my phone vibrating,it was my phone ringing.I check to see the caller ID to find you calling me as I wait to board my flight.
"Hey you,I was just thinking of you.' I say in a very cheerful and excited voice
"Hey.." Your tone blunt and dull.
The initially greetings motioned for what I knew was not going to be a very pleasant conversation.
Our conversation somehow lacked the previous enthusiastic and joyful spirit.It had only been mere minutes but had felt as hours on my side
"May I have your attention please,we are now boarding"
"I have to go,it's time for me to board."I say dreading to imagine how our future conversation would be like
"Yeah I know,I heard."
"I'll talk to you soon alright?I'll only be gone a week.Goodbye".
"Goodbye and please take care" you say with uncertainty.
I hang up,letting out a heavy sigh as I pull my backpack over my back.As I board my flight,I look back wishing the conversation would have gone differently,but at the same time glad to be able to get away from it all.

Little did I know,this was the beginning of my adventure.

cheerio
p.s. I think i'm stressed and therefore i blog.
p.p.s Maybe i'm not stressed.
p.p.p.s I swear on DarthVaders grave that i made this up.haha

I hear sirens in the distance..

and quick, heavy footsteps,they get closer and I hear someone shouting
"Stay with me..."
"....it's not your time"
"son of a bitch..."
Everything's in a blur.
"Charging.." someone shouts.
And that's the last thing I remember hearing.

The End.

I officially announce the death of this blog.

Cheerio.

When I close my Eyes.

I hate people making assumptions from the things they read online.Nuf said.

Cheerio.

I Fade.

"He was just some guy I knew"

Cheerio.

Death in the House in front.

Crap.

Cheerio.
depressed.

Opportunist.

You're so fragile I know
I'm so Selfish it shows
Tell me 3 little lies
Everything is alright
It tears me all up inside
I'm talking to myself
Cause no one else is listening
Stay another day
Would it all go wrong
I hope I never regret
And you can feel me fall
Cause you're the loneliest of them all
I will be the colours in the rain
I will be the truth in your lies
Cause you're the most beautiful thing I've seen in my life
You are the most beautiful thing my eyes have ever seen
I will fall asleep in your arms
And every breath that you take breaks my heart
After the strom we've been through
I hear goodbye
I let you in a little too close
You shut the door so no one would know
The sound of a broken heart beating
This is where we are
This is where we were
The butterfly is beautiful but soon will die
Will spread it's wings in the eternal sky
Eternal ligh with everything on it's mind
You'll never believe this
I won't survive very much longer
You've got to keep this broken heart stronger.

Cheerio.

The mistakes I made,

I look out of the window

into the deep dark spaces of infinity
I look into this window
of infinite spaces
I see me
All the wrongs
Looking back at Me.
I bare not to see
to see the wrong looking
back at me
Blinking and rubbing
all i see
is Me.

Cheerio.
p.s.happy suyen?

I.

I wake up
to the sun & and the birds
I look left
I look right
I look up
gazing into the deep blue sky
I stop
I stare
Darkest closing in
you're here
you're there
Never showing.
I weep
I cry
Shiny pearls fall.
They break
They Shatter
Never ending

This time & this time only.

I walk down the path of unknown.

Cheerio.

When the Dust settles.

6 picture of the 6 folder. ;-).
She was my date to our schools "prom" aka graduation dinner.happy?

Cheerio.

& here We are.

In college with the suckiest connection.
I can remember when it was ever so this bad.

Under the Sky,the Rain falls.

It's from the plain where We overlook beauty.

Cheerio.

When Your World comes Crashing down.

please do not copy/take images without written/verbal permission from author.All images are copyright of author.

It's Natural to be Afraid.

When the your world starts falling apart,the only place you can seek shelter is with yourself.

Cheerio.


p.s. Modeled by Tam SuYen aka my cousin.

Insomnia

When the Sun cease the shine,Time will cease to be relevant.

Cheerio.

Oceans Apart.

About Time.

I look out of that tiny window
Into Infinite space
& I realized how insignificant we are.

Cheerio.

Your Voice resounds in my mind.

From Taipei with Love.

Cheerio

Only We know.

Baby,it's a fact.

Cheerio.

p.s. I still blog HERE.
p.s.s.This is for more random updates.
p.s.s.s This is not my official blog YET.

This is Sound.

Lets take a trip down Memory lane.

I wish I could tell You.

I hugged You for the last time
I held You in my embrace for the final time
I kissed You and Said my final goodbyes
"This isn't goodbye" i said.
I got into the car,not wanting to let You go
I switched on the radio trying to take my mind of You
"Called you for the first time yesterday
Finally found the missing part of me
Felt so close but you were far away
Left me without anything to say
Now I'm speechless, over the edge
I'm just breathless
I never thought that I'd catch this love bug again
Hopeless, head over heels in the moment
I never thought that I'd get hit by this love bug again"
My eyes water and glimmered
like the reflection of the moon in water
The tears rolled down like shinny pearls
Each following with greater anticipation
& thats when I realized.
how much You mean do me.

Cheerio.

p.s.I still blog HERE

You.

One day spent
Another Day gone
If I had one wish
I'd Ask God
To take me back to time
Back when
I'd find a little bit of Happiness
with You by my side.




Cheerio.



p.s. I still blog HERE

As the Days go by.

"tick-tock'
Time ticks
I elude time
I run & i hide
time is always behind
I wish time would stop
for an hour
or even a minute
it would give me a little more time
with You by myself
A little more time with You
is what i would like
before the final strike
of time.